Changes in the Air

As you can see by my last post, I posted it a month after I actually wrote it. You see I did not have a VPN, so I was not able to get onto blogger at the time. Therefore, I wrote the post thinking that I would at some point post it.

Looking at the post now, it does not seem so relevant. Not to say that I have figured everything out. I am actually seeing how little I know. On the other hand, I am moving past that content yet unsure stage into finding a sense of belonging, which is great. Now that I am heading that direction, I want my life here to have a deeper sense of purpose. I am not just here for some self-fulfilling grand adventure. (Even though, I must admit that adventure it part of it.)  Anyways, as the weather is changing, I can feel a change in me as well. I am not sure if the one is caused by the other, or if it is just a coincidence based on the natural change in the weather and the natural transition into life in China. I am tired, and now I feel like I am just rambling. This is a short blog post, but I wanted to explain the previous one. . 

My First Blog, which is Long Overdue- August 21, 2011

I have been planning on starting a blog for the past 9 months or so, but I keep on failing miserably.  I will start and maintain this blog (at least that is the plan). If I am not consistent, I hereby give me permission to yell at me, if you even really care.

Ok so, China. I am here. I am safe. I am working on figuring my new life out. There are still so many things that I do not know, but I don’t always know what I don’t know. I suppose now I will give a brief run-down of my life thus far.

Sunday, August 7, 2011- I left for China. I had gotten very little sleep the night before because I was trying to make sure that I properly said good-bye to everyone, and I was terrified that I would forget something incredibly important.  That day was the longest most exhausting day. All three of my flights were delayed, which in reality was a good thing because it meant that I did not miss my flights, but it meant that I did not get to my new home until 12:15 am Tuesday, August 9.

Even through the first few days were crazy, I am slowly but surely getting into somewhat of a routine. Even though we haven’t gotten too far into the content of the classes, I think that they will be fun to teach. I am looking forward to this not being my first year because I am really tired of not knowing what I am doing. I have had to actually ask for help, which is not something that I do not like to do, but I know that it is certainly for the better.

People keep on asking me how I am settling in and how I am adjusting, and I really don’t know. I really cannot pinpoint what I am feeling/thinking right now. I am not, not adjusting or settling. However, can I really know if I am settling well? I keep on wondering how long it will take me for this to me my home. I mean I am comfortable here, but at what point does it become my home and not just some place where I am comfortable staying? So if you ask me how I feel or how I am settling in, I really won’t know how to answer. I can say that I am content, but I am looking forward to being more than just content. While contentment is a pleasant emotion, it just seems too mediocre.