I Won't be Home for Christmas

Today is Christmas Eve, and I am thousands of miles away from “home” and my family. This brings ambiguous and conflicting emotions. I don’t really know what to say, but a part of me feels this strong urge to write.

First of all, I am so blessed to have a family who loves me and supports me. I have been able to talk with them several times the past few days. Secondly, I am surrounded by an extended family that has made it their job to make sure that I am not alone on Christmas. From 6 pm Christmas Eve to sometime Christmas night, I have somewhere to be, people to hang out with, games to play, and amazing food to eat. The question then becomes why is it that I still feel a hint of depression and loneliness. 

Is it perhaps that I even after all these years of following Him that I, deep in my heart, still don’t know the true meaning of Christmas? Of course, my head knows the true meaning of Christmas. In my head, I see and hear Charlie Brown asking, “Isn’t there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?” Then I hear Linus reciting the story according to Luke. I know that Christmas isn’t about gifts or Santa Clause or even spending time with family, but would it still feel like Christmas without those things? I’m not a huge gift person, and I didn’t grow up believing in Santa Clause, so the first two aren’t very hard for me, but what about the third one. What if I spent all of Christmas at home alone? Would it still be Christmas?

It becomes so easy for us at Christmas time to do what we always do: spend time with family, eat yummy food, exchange gifts, read the Christmas story, and sing carols. These are not bad things, but I want Christmas to be more than just a tradition that we always do. I want to let the story of Christmas to penetrate my heart. One carol, "Joy to the World," has done just that. Check out the third verse:

No more let sins and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found,
Far as the curse is found,
Far as, far as, the curse is found.

The words to this verse struck me because it explains that Christmas is about bringing all of creation in to right relationship with the Father.  We minimize it by making it merely about the birth of Jesus. It seems to me that we, as modern day believers, do a good job of saying that Christmas is all about the birth of our Savior, but do we really act like it is. Do our hearts truly acknowledge it? How I can better show that Christmas is about the redemption of mankind and nothing else? The following video does a good job of telling a more complete Christmas story. However, I still believe that it is lacking because it ends at the manger. The manger is not the end. Rather it is still part of the rising action. The cross and the resurrection are the climax, the turning point in the story. We are still waiting for the final resolution. For this reason, we still sing "Come thou long expected Jesus."